My MJ

1.1.05

What a shitty day

Not really a bad day at all. It's just that my life is dominated by shit. All different types. From pellets to chunks to big and small, I'm an equal opportunity shit-dealer throughout the entire day.

I was looking up the stats on my sitemeter, and notice a lot of people who stumble upon my diet and exercise blog with search words like....."creamy ass" and "mud butt". My blog also consists of my various bowel movements.

Rabbits shit like they were elephants. My rabbit eats a couple of carrots, some pellets, and some mixed greens, and it looks like a pellet city a day later. I thought pellets would be easy to take care of, but I find myself having to clean out that damn rabbit cage shit-catcher every other day. I swear that rabbit has a voracious appetite. I noticed a head of cabbage going bad in the fridge, so I popped the whole head in the rabbit's cage thinking that it should last her 3-4 days. That rabbit ate that head like a Taiwanese hooker on crack. It took a day and a half.

My dogs shit all over one side of the yard. I trained Belle and Jingo to do their bidness on the gravel, so it's easier for me to pick up. Especially the runny diarrhea specials. Gilbey still does his on the side yard. I've got to clean up after them 1-2 times a day, because Belly has a penchant for chewing on crap. Pretty nasty, but coprophagia is pretty common in dogs. Still, I make sure that the yard is cleaned up before I let her monkey ass out. Every week or so, I'd fill up a dog food bag's worth of crap, since I have three dogs. Every day is a crappy day.

One night, I got to work at the group home, and one of our kids was smearing all over the Quiet Room. It was summer time, so that shit was festering in the heat, and he got it in every little nook and cranny of that QR. Don't really know why they do it, but our therapist says it gives them a sense of power, when they're in a situation they cannot control. It took 2 hours to clean that shit up, and the kid didn't know what "elbow grease" was. The smell was attrocious, even though it was battling the smell of bleach and pine sol, which is pretty potent in its own right.

Normally we have enuretic kids, who can't control their bladder, but once in a while we have encopretics who can't control their bowel movements. It makes for a wonderful laundry experience , full of little brown surprises and skid marks galore. What a shitty job.

Now, I've got this 8 lb. little dynamo who really knows how to pack in those little pampers. It's a strange type of shit which I am oddly familiar with. I know how to handle vveggie-filled pellets, runny situations, dark bombs of glory, and corn-infested majesties, but hers was a new type that I've never experienced.

The first three days, this black stringy, creamy crap came out. They call it meconium (sic) and it's how the kid gets it GI tract ready to take in food and drink. Sorta like an initial tune-up on a car.

Since then, it's been this sweet-smelling, half-liquid, half-solid, yellowish mustard-seed looking crap with the consistency of cottage cheese. Of all the shits I've known in my life, this was the least offensive of all. Overall it was a crap-filled day, but I ain't complaining.

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