An Interview w/ Vince Vaughn
I'm watching the Tonight Show repeat from last week, and one of my favorites, Vince Vaughn was on as the featured guest. I always love watching this boy do interviews, because he's always funny, off-the-wall, and loves to play off the audience. He's basically Trent, his character in the movie, Swingers. Granted, he doesn't have much range as an actor, but when he plays himself, he's funny as hell.
Take his movie that is out right now...Be Cool. It looks like a piece of shit, but when Vince is doing his thing, he can salvage a movie. Jay Leno showed the movie clip, and Vince says, "Twinkle, Twinkle, baby, Twinkle, Twinkle!" Who da fuck thinks up of that shit? He's supposed to be a white guy acting black. Then he starts doing the Roger Rabbit, an obscure dance move from the 80's in homage to the movie, Who framed Roger Rabbit? Comedic genius.
So as I continue to watch the inteview, I think about how much this man has become a symbol of my life. In the movie, Swingers, Trent is playing NHL on Sega with his buddy, Sue. Yup, a boy named Sue. Trent threatens to make Sue's best player, Wayne Gretzky, bleed by checking him hard. Sue says, "you can't make the characters bleed." Sue turns his head away for a second, and Trent goes after Wayne Gretky, checks him hard, and makes his head bleed. When I first watched this movie, I was laughing hysterically. I remember playing NHL on Sega with my buddies, Orlando, Rich, and Mike. I remember trying to check someone so hard, that they bleed on the ice. And I remember Orlando saying "you can't make the characters bleed", as I proceeded to check HIS Wayne Gretzky into the ice. Of course, the blood ran from his head like the river Styx.
A boy named Sue, Vince, Jon Favreau, Ron Livingston, and a token black dude
As the interview continues with Leno, I'm thinking, "Only Vince Vaughn can make Jay Leno watchable". I hate watching the Tonight Show because the skits aren't funny and Leno couldn't interview a wall. Vince mentions something about being a member of Columbia House, and how they used to give away 10 tapes or CDs for a penny. You think it's a great deal, but you're committed to buy 8 more CDs for twice the full price. That's only someting someone over 30 knows about. I was a member, myself. I have no idea how he got on this topic, but it was funny nonetheless.
Vince continues on about how he's got three sisters with a bunch of kids, and he's been asked to babysit them on occassion. The boy's got verbal diarrhea, and just spews out every little detail of his day spent babysitting his nephew. He mentions how you've got to put on a diaper with the picture of Elmo on the front. I, too, had this challenge early on. I didn't know which way a diaper was supposed to face, until my sister-in-law showed me that cartoon character should be in the front.
Finally, Vince testifies that his favorite TV shows are Cheaters and Dance 360. When I started my gig at the group home, I used to watch Cheaters at 2am in the morning on the WB. That was when Tony Grand was hosting it. This guy would ambush unsuspecting people who have been set up by their partners, while they are cheating on them with someone else. Sporting his leather trenchcoat, he would speak in this really harsh nasaly voice. Then he would ask the stupidest questions to the cheating partner while he/she is trying to walk away from the cameras and lights. "Why did you do it? Didn't you know how it would make her feel?" It was hysterical! I always ended up laughing out loud, sometimes waking up the kids. And the denouement would be wathcing the credits, where Tony Grand wasn't really Tony Grand. Tony Grand is a character played by Ahmad Mohammed. This always made me laugh.
I never watched Dance 360 until I watched it on December 22, 2004. I remember this date so well because it was the day Mya was born. Vince explains the show as a "dance off" between two teenagers, where the two competitors dance in the middle of a circle of dancers, emphatically gesture with their hands to their competitor when it's their turn, and then the audience chooses who wins by their applause. It's really a show for teens and pre-teens, but it's funny how a middle-aged man like Vince is watching and loving it.
Mya was born at the UC Davis Medical Center, where they have what they call "birthing suites". Our birthmother, Bonny, was situated in one of these suites, where they had a TV, a nice bed, and a huge seating area for all the friends and relatives. While she was going through labor, the TV was on and I think it was Judge Joe Brown. As soon as Bonny started to push, Judge Joe Brown was over, and Dance 360 was on. Sure enough, these kids were trying to dance each other off the dance floor, and Bonny was trying to push a human head through her cervix. It was surreal, to say the least. Who knows, Mya might grow up to be a really good dancer.
Where the parallel ends between Vince and myself is his love for Celine Dion. When he was on Ellen, he confessed that he has watched Titanic more than 40 times, just so he can hear Celine Dion sing "my heart will go on". I can't stand this damn song. And whenever that Canadian freak of nature pounds her chest right at the refrain, I want to slit my wrists. I think it was just an excuse for him to sing the song, karaoke-style, on the show. Just to ham it up a bit. At least I'd like to think so. Otherwise, I've lost all respect for the man.
Take his movie that is out right now...Be Cool. It looks like a piece of shit, but when Vince is doing his thing, he can salvage a movie. Jay Leno showed the movie clip, and Vince says, "Twinkle, Twinkle, baby, Twinkle, Twinkle!" Who da fuck thinks up of that shit? He's supposed to be a white guy acting black. Then he starts doing the Roger Rabbit, an obscure dance move from the 80's in homage to the movie, Who framed Roger Rabbit? Comedic genius.
So as I continue to watch the inteview, I think about how much this man has become a symbol of my life. In the movie, Swingers, Trent is playing NHL on Sega with his buddy, Sue. Yup, a boy named Sue. Trent threatens to make Sue's best player, Wayne Gretzky, bleed by checking him hard. Sue says, "you can't make the characters bleed." Sue turns his head away for a second, and Trent goes after Wayne Gretky, checks him hard, and makes his head bleed. When I first watched this movie, I was laughing hysterically. I remember playing NHL on Sega with my buddies, Orlando, Rich, and Mike. I remember trying to check someone so hard, that they bleed on the ice. And I remember Orlando saying "you can't make the characters bleed", as I proceeded to check HIS Wayne Gretzky into the ice. Of course, the blood ran from his head like the river Styx.
A boy named Sue, Vince, Jon Favreau, Ron Livingston, and a token black dude
As the interview continues with Leno, I'm thinking, "Only Vince Vaughn can make Jay Leno watchable". I hate watching the Tonight Show because the skits aren't funny and Leno couldn't interview a wall. Vince mentions something about being a member of Columbia House, and how they used to give away 10 tapes or CDs for a penny. You think it's a great deal, but you're committed to buy 8 more CDs for twice the full price. That's only someting someone over 30 knows about. I was a member, myself. I have no idea how he got on this topic, but it was funny nonetheless.
Vince continues on about how he's got three sisters with a bunch of kids, and he's been asked to babysit them on occassion. The boy's got verbal diarrhea, and just spews out every little detail of his day spent babysitting his nephew. He mentions how you've got to put on a diaper with the picture of Elmo on the front. I, too, had this challenge early on. I didn't know which way a diaper was supposed to face, until my sister-in-law showed me that cartoon character should be in the front.
Finally, Vince testifies that his favorite TV shows are Cheaters and Dance 360. When I started my gig at the group home, I used to watch Cheaters at 2am in the morning on the WB. That was when Tony Grand was hosting it. This guy would ambush unsuspecting people who have been set up by their partners, while they are cheating on them with someone else. Sporting his leather trenchcoat, he would speak in this really harsh nasaly voice. Then he would ask the stupidest questions to the cheating partner while he/she is trying to walk away from the cameras and lights. "Why did you do it? Didn't you know how it would make her feel?" It was hysterical! I always ended up laughing out loud, sometimes waking up the kids. And the denouement would be wathcing the credits, where Tony Grand wasn't really Tony Grand. Tony Grand is a character played by Ahmad Mohammed. This always made me laugh.
I never watched Dance 360 until I watched it on December 22, 2004. I remember this date so well because it was the day Mya was born. Vince explains the show as a "dance off" between two teenagers, where the two competitors dance in the middle of a circle of dancers, emphatically gesture with their hands to their competitor when it's their turn, and then the audience chooses who wins by their applause. It's really a show for teens and pre-teens, but it's funny how a middle-aged man like Vince is watching and loving it.
Mya was born at the UC Davis Medical Center, where they have what they call "birthing suites". Our birthmother, Bonny, was situated in one of these suites, where they had a TV, a nice bed, and a huge seating area for all the friends and relatives. While she was going through labor, the TV was on and I think it was Judge Joe Brown. As soon as Bonny started to push, Judge Joe Brown was over, and Dance 360 was on. Sure enough, these kids were trying to dance each other off the dance floor, and Bonny was trying to push a human head through her cervix. It was surreal, to say the least. Who knows, Mya might grow up to be a really good dancer.
Where the parallel ends between Vince and myself is his love for Celine Dion. When he was on Ellen, he confessed that he has watched Titanic more than 40 times, just so he can hear Celine Dion sing "my heart will go on". I can't stand this damn song. And whenever that Canadian freak of nature pounds her chest right at the refrain, I want to slit my wrists. I think it was just an excuse for him to sing the song, karaoke-style, on the show. Just to ham it up a bit. At least I'd like to think so. Otherwise, I've lost all respect for the man.
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