I went to an Ear, Nose, and Threat doctor yesterday, and he confirmed what my regular doctor told me. I snore like a hippo because my tonsils are HUGE! It's called obstructive sleep apnea. When I go to sleep, my tonsils, soft palate, uvula all come together and block my air flow. Jo can confirm this, multiple times at night, I stop breathing! This condition is probably the cause for my chronic fatigue syndrome (I've never been diagnosed, but I KNOW that I have it because I'm always tired as hell). It could also cause high blood pressure, and enlarged heart, and obesity. Jeez, I didn't know I was this fucked up. So what my ENT doctor prescribed for me was to perfrom a sleep study, which would require me to sleep for a night in a sleep study lab. Good times. The insurance company needs this to justify a surgery that would take my tonsils and uvula out. I don't know much about tonsilectomies, but I remember from a Brady Bunch episode that one of the kids had one, and got to eat ice cream for a week. Suh-weeet! Then I'll probably have a heart attack from my resulting diabetes.
The one thing that sorta grossed me out was the tube that the ENT doctor stuck in my nose. He first sprayed some afrin in my nostril to lubricate my nasal cavity; then he sprayed it with some numbing agent. Poof! After 5 minutes, my nasal cavity, my nasopharyngeal cavity, and the first section of my esophagus was numb as fuck. Hell, my friggin' palate and some of my teeth were numb, too. The dude stuck a scope into my nose, and thank goodness, found no other obstructions (such as a deviated septum). So there's no need to perform a surgery in that area.
After being diagnosed with hypercholesterolemia (I think I just made that term up), high triglyceride levels, and having diabetes in my genes, I'm really trying to take care of my body. Less carbs, less saturated fats, no trans fats, less red meat, etc. Now, with this pending surgery, I can increase my activity level, and exercise more. Can't wait!
It could also save my marriage. Joanne is ready to stab me in the middle of the night because of my snoring. I've never actually heard myself snore, but I've heard that I sound like a foghorn. Every time I go camping, my camp mates, the bears, squirrels, and even invertebrates like the worms and mosquitos, want to murder me because I kept them up the whole night. I went camping with a bunch of camp counselors once, and a group of them could not sleep so they migrated 100 yards away to the campfire to try to get some rest. They told me later tha morning that they could even hear me from that distance. Holy Crap! I'm sorry, babe, for my snoring. You can blame my Mom and Dad, and their familial genes, because they also snore like me. In fact, the only one in our family that doesn't snore is my middle brother, Mikey. If one of our relatives slept over our house, they would hear a symphony of our snoring, multiple cessations of breathing, and ton of snorts and whistles. It was a symphony no one would pay to hear. Mikey had his own problems. He would tumble and roll around in his bound as if he was a mad-man possessed. When I had to share a bed with him, I woke up with bruises and scratches. I feel for his future wife. Maybe she can suit up in a football uniform while he brushes his teeth, as they get ready for bed. One time, he even woke up in the middle of our street because he was walking in his sleep. Our family has problems. During family parties, after every meal, my mom, my brother, John, and myself would hibernate for hours. My dad would do it, too, when he was tired. I think we ALL have chronic fatigue syndrome. Maybe I'll suggest to them that they also see an ENT doctor. Sleep well!
The one thing that sorta grossed me out was the tube that the ENT doctor stuck in my nose. He first sprayed some afrin in my nostril to lubricate my nasal cavity; then he sprayed it with some numbing agent. Poof! After 5 minutes, my nasal cavity, my nasopharyngeal cavity, and the first section of my esophagus was numb as fuck. Hell, my friggin' palate and some of my teeth were numb, too. The dude stuck a scope into my nose, and thank goodness, found no other obstructions (such as a deviated septum). So there's no need to perform a surgery in that area.
After being diagnosed with hypercholesterolemia (I think I just made that term up), high triglyceride levels, and having diabetes in my genes, I'm really trying to take care of my body. Less carbs, less saturated fats, no trans fats, less red meat, etc. Now, with this pending surgery, I can increase my activity level, and exercise more. Can't wait!
It could also save my marriage. Joanne is ready to stab me in the middle of the night because of my snoring. I've never actually heard myself snore, but I've heard that I sound like a foghorn. Every time I go camping, my camp mates, the bears, squirrels, and even invertebrates like the worms and mosquitos, want to murder me because I kept them up the whole night. I went camping with a bunch of camp counselors once, and a group of them could not sleep so they migrated 100 yards away to the campfire to try to get some rest. They told me later tha morning that they could even hear me from that distance. Holy Crap! I'm sorry, babe, for my snoring. You can blame my Mom and Dad, and their familial genes, because they also snore like me. In fact, the only one in our family that doesn't snore is my middle brother, Mikey. If one of our relatives slept over our house, they would hear a symphony of our snoring, multiple cessations of breathing, and ton of snorts and whistles. It was a symphony no one would pay to hear. Mikey had his own problems. He would tumble and roll around in his bound as if he was a mad-man possessed. When I had to share a bed with him, I woke up with bruises and scratches. I feel for his future wife. Maybe she can suit up in a football uniform while he brushes his teeth, as they get ready for bed. One time, he even woke up in the middle of our street because he was walking in his sleep. Our family has problems. During family parties, after every meal, my mom, my brother, John, and myself would hibernate for hours. My dad would do it, too, when he was tired. I think we ALL have chronic fatigue syndrome. Maybe I'll suggest to them that they also see an ENT doctor. Sleep well!
<< Home