My MJ

10.4.07

paradigm shift

I read Stephen Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, when I was still an undergraduate. It never really resonated with me until the past few weeks. I remember the four quadrants in how people choose to spend their time, and up until now, I was languishing in the "time-wasting" quadrant. Much of it had to do with my tendency to procrastinate and avoid things that I find difficult or not enjoyable. Case in point, I haven't done my taxes until tonight. Could have done them in February, but I hate taxes, so I put it off until the last minute. I remember Covey saying that their are two types of procrastinators: those that don't really care about the quality of their work and those who are such perfectionists, that they choose to put things off until the last minute, so they can use it as an excuse for not producing their best work. I'd like to think that I'm more of the latter than the former, but it's probably a mix of both.

I've been preparing for this paradigm shift for a long time now: another tenet of Covey's book that allows people to be highly successful. Change your entire paradigm or else nothing will happen. For the past decade or so, I never really understood the power of those words until I started working out, paying bills on time, cleaning up, organizing my personal life, instilling quality free time, etc. Question is: why now? It's been 10 years since I've read the book, but am only applying it now. Part of it is because of my newborn kids. I want them to grow up without the results of my hangups. I want my kids to have a clean house, playground in the backyard, dogs to play with, everything. That can't be achieved if I'm not at my best. Another part of it is because I need to reconnect with the love of my life. It's been a while since we were lovestruck teenagers, and I'm ready to do that again. But with the pressures and stress of adulthood, we have lost each other along the way. Finally, I visualize daily the life that I'm supposed to have and compare and contrast it with the life that I have. Connecting that bridge is very important to me. It had to be done.

So what has happened in the past two weeks? I've challenged the paradigm at my work and stepped out of my proverbial safe box. I've played basketball, and played it consistently every week and improved each time I've gone out there. I've cleaned up and organized the house. I know now that it can't be done in one fail swoop. I have to work at it everyday. I've accepted my wife for who she is. She drives me mad, argues incessantly, is a slob, whatever whatever, but I've got to work on my hangups, not hers. Hopefully, she will change, but my constant criticisms of her won't help. In fact, I realize now that it is detrimental beyond belief. I've stopped neglecting those who are really important to me, my co-workers, my clients at the group home, my pups, and myself. Eating well, exercising, watching TV and movies (but not to waste time), cleaning, and enjoying life.

As a biologist, I liken my paradigm shift to a catalyst 2-D graph. To achieve a higher kinetic level, a chemical reaction must pass a threshold called the "Energy of Activation". Otherwise, you languish in the lower energy level. I believe that these past few weeks and the next few has allowed me to achieve this energy, and now I can no longer go back to my former self. One of my favorite quotes from Henry David Thoreau, famed environmentalist and transcendentalist, is only appropriate to end this entry: As if you could kill time without injuring eternity

Sexiness Love of my life MJ's Website My Kiki Interact